


SchlattMas 2020

by FrogsAndFandoms



Series: Dream SmpMas 2020 [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: BAMF Niki | Nihachu, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Jschlatt scrooge au, TW:cursing, tw: alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogsAndFandoms/pseuds/FrogsAndFandoms
Summary: It's Christmas, and Schlatt doesn't understand this whole "holiday cheer" thing but it's spreading like a disease. Good thing he's immune.
Series: Dream SmpMas 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065620
Kudos: 34





	1. the smiling door knocker

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of an au but it takes place in L'manburg, it just follows the christmas carol storyline  
> Also if you enjoy this  
> 1\. Please leave kudos or a comment, it really means a lot  
> 2\. I should have a spin off of this coming soon and a heavy angst ghostbur fic a bit after that, so stay tuned!  
> 3\. Just a reminder not to ship irl people unless they EXPLICITLY state that they are okay being shipped with someone, but even then you should be careful  
> 4\. Thank you to my friend for acting as beta although she won't tell me her ao3 so I can't credit her  
> Lastly, there is mention of heavy drinking and there is cursing, so if that is a trigger for you I do not suggest reading this  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story, and happy holidays :)

It was a frigid Christmas Eve in L’manburg, and the cold seemed to seep through even the smallest cracks in the walls. The white house door opened as a shivering man stumbled through. 

“What do you want now, Quackity?” A large black chair spun around to reveal a horned man. He put his feet on the desk casually.

“H-hey Schlatt.”

Schlatt looked at his watch. “Make it quick.”

“Could we make a fire outside? It’s hard to do work when we can barely move.”

“Fine, but whatever time you waste is coming out of your paycheck.”

“I have a paycheck?”

He grinned.“No.”

Quackity sighed and went to open the door and head back out into the frozen wasteland. The door swung open and Quackity felt a furry arm wrap around his shoulder. “Geez, Schlatt, let the man make a fire. He’ll be of no use to you if he’s an icicle.”

Schlatt raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to make up for the time he’s wasting?”

“Nope! Actually, i’m here to tell you that BBH and Skeppy are throwing a party at their place, and they want both of you to come!”

Quackity’s eyes gleamed with hope, but they dimmed when he remembered who his employer was. 

Schlatt sighed. “You can go, but you’re working overnight tomorrow.”

Quackity and Fundy immediately started planning a way to spike the kool-aid without BBH noticing. Suddenly, Fundy turned around. “Oh yeah, Schlatt are you coming?”

Schlatt leaned back in his chair. “Nope. Sorry boys, but I have plans to get drunk and give the middle finger to the spirit of christmas until I pass out at about three in the morning.”

Fundy tilted his head and gave Schlatt a somewhat sympathetic look. “Well, you can always come late if you change your mind.”

Quackity and Fundy went back out into the snow, and Schlatt turned back to the blueprints he was updating. Then the door swung open. Schlatt looked up. “Tommy, what the hell are you doing here? You’re banned from Manburg, I could execute you on the spot.”

Tommy put his hands up in surrender. “I’m not here for trouble.”

Schlatt snorted. “I find that hard to believe.”

Tommy sighed. “I’m here to ask for a temporary truce.”

Schlatt raised an eyebrow.

“I’m here to ask if me and Wilbur would be allowed in L’manburg tomorrow, and only tomorrow, so we can celebrate with our family and friends.”

“No.”

Tommy was shocked. “What do you mean, no? It’s a single day, and we won’t cause any trouble. Are you really that heartless that you would deny two men spending Christmas with their families?”

Schlatt spun around, already working on something else. “Well, you should have considered that before you got yourselves exiled.”

Tommy clenched his shaking fists. He seemed as though he was about to say something, but he had apparently decided against it because he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

After a long day of sitting at his desk, Schlatt decided to head home. He went to open his door, but he noticed something that made him jump back onto the snowy ground. His door knocker no longer possessed its usual lion shape. It was a small, sinister curved mouth with two beady eyes. At least it had been. He looked at it again but by now it was back to its original shape. He laughed at himself, only slightly unnerved. He had probably drank too much again. There was no way Dream was here, he had been killed during the L’manburg revolutionary war. Schlatt opened the door and stumbled to his couch before passing out, beer bottle in hand. 

He only slept for around eight minutes before he was awoken by the sound of dragging chains. It took his blurred vision a second to focus, but when it did he wasn’t sure he believed his eyes. Standing in front of him was the wispy form of the green man himself. Schlatt rubbed his eyes. “Dream? The fuck are you doing in my house?”

“I have been made visible to you only now as a warning.” He looked down at the glowing shackles bound to his feet. “These chains bind me to this world, forcing me to walk in agony for eternity as punishment for my crimes.”

Schlatt laid back down. “And why should I care?”

“The path you are taking will make you suffer the same fate as I have.”

Schlatt grabbed a pillow and pressed it over his face. “Whatever, this is probably just some hallucination.” said Schlatt’s muffled voice.

Dream chuckled. “Tonight is your last chance Mr.President. Don’t waste it.”

Schlatt had fallen asleep before he had time to contemplate what that meant.


	2. The Golden Bee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first, your daily reminder to not ship irl people unless they explicitly say its cool.  
> second, thank you to my beta who for the love of frick still won't tell me her ao3   
> third, I'm on tumblr at frogsandfandoms although i'm not super active anymore, but if you wanna go say hi over there it's totally chill  
> one last thing, remember you are great, valid, and that you need to hydrate :)  
> anyway hope you enjoy the chapter and sorry for my insanely long notes!

Once again Schlatt awoke, but this time it was to the sound of faint buzzing. When he opened his eyes, he nearly jumped a mile. There was a bee. A huge bee. A huge bee that was two inches away from his face. Then he heard a familiar voice. “Hey Schlatt.”

He looked around in confusion until his eyes landed on the shining golden face of Tubbo. The bee returned to the boy’s side, brushing against him affectionately. “Tubbo?”

“Yeah?”

Schlatt groaned and rolled over, smushing his face into the pillow. “Oh, great. Are ghosts visiting me in my sleep going to be a thing now?”

“Get up.”

“No.”

Tubbo tilted his head. “Yeah, you don’t really have a choice, so…” Schlatt groaned and slowly stood up, using the couch’s armrests as support. Tubbo held out his arm. “Grab my hand.”

Schlatt gave him a skeptical look. Tubbo sighed. “Just grab my arm already.”

Schlatt looped his arm through Tubbo’s, which was rather difficult due to their rather significant height difference. There was a blinding flash of light, and warmth consumed him. When he opened his eyes, he was no longer in his home. He looked at Tubbo. “Where the hell are we?”

Tubbo shushed him. “Watch.”

Schlatt turned to where Tubbo was looking. It was snowing. And there were people playing and laughing. Based on the people there, Schlatt had to guess this was sometime around the beginning of Wilbur’s presidency. Schlatt turned back to Tubbo. “Why did you bring me here? To remind me of how bad a president loverboy was?”

Tubbo shook his head. “Just watch.”

They sat in silence for a good five minutes. “So am I supposed to be learning something here, or…?”

Tubbo sighed. “Look at how happy they are. They aren’t being controlled and forced to do things against their will. Their leaders listen to them. They aren’t afraid. And they’re happy. So, so, happy.”

He might have imagined it, but he was pretty sure he saw a singular tear roll down the boy’s face. Schlatt scoffed. “They only think they’re happy, because they don’t know what it’s like without the walls. Everyone is much happier with me in power. I haven’t gotten a single complaint.”

Tubbo tilted his head. “Maybe it’s because you won’t listen to them.”

Schlatt grumbled. "Why am I even listening to you? You're just a traitor. I thought you were my friend, my right hand man. But you betrayed me for those pests."

Tubbo sighed. The blinding flash of light appeared again and Schlatt reappeared in his living room before passing out again.


	3. The Aggressive Baker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a reminder to hydrate, and a reminder that you are valid and amazing!  
> once again thank you to my wonderful beta, who has allowed me to credit her tumblr, so go follow her at frog-tsu!  
> not gonna lie, this was one of my favorite chapters to write, because niki is one of my favorite streamers if not my favorite streamer, so I hope you enjoy this as much I did!

Schlatt woke up again, to yet another familiar face, and the smell of pastries. He groaned, as he realized who the person staring daggers at him was. “Ah, fuck. I don’t even remember killing you."

Niki raised an eyebrow. “That’s because I'm not dead, I'm a manifestation of Niki’s consciousness.”

Schlatt lifted his head up. “I didn’t kill you? Remind me to fix that tomorrow.” He stretched luxuriously. “Anyway, you’re not the real Niki. If you were the real Niki, you would have punched me by now.”

Niki started rolling up her sleeves. “Yeah, remind _me_ to fix that.”

Schlatt held his hands up in front of his chest. “Woah, woah, woah, no need for that.”

Niki sighed. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Schlatt raised an eyebrow. “So do I get to hold your hand too?”

Niki gave him a death glare. She grabbed him by the horns and started dragging him towards the door. She kicked the door open, and when they walked through the scene transitioned.

Schlatt recognized where they were almost immediately. They were at BBH and Skeppy’s house. Schlatt looked at Niki. “When is this?”

“Now,” said Niki without sparing him a glance. She began to glide towards the front door. They passed right through it, so entry wasn’t a problem.

The first thing he noticed was Fundy and Quackity, who were hanging out by the snacks and drinks. Schlatt flew over to listen to their conversation. “Hey, I think there’s salmon over there, wanna try some?”

Fundy wrinkled his nose. “No thanks, I don’t really eat fish.”

Quackity looked a bit sheepish. “Oh, right...sorry.” They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to ask...”

“Huh?”

“Are you doing okay? I mean, I know Schlatt is tough and all, but I didn’t think he would force you to keep working in that awful weather.”

Quackity shrugged. “It’s not great, but…eh, what can you do, y’know? I do sort of wish he would acknowledge me more though, considering I’m the vice president and the one who put him in power.”

“Yeah, he has been a bit of a dick to you.”

Quackity shrugged again. “Well, it’s not like I can do anything about it now. Let’s just enjoy the party.”

The two raised their glasses and drank. Niki floated down to meet Schlatt. “Learn anything?”

“Yeah, that my vice president is ungrateful and talks about me behind my back. This is like high school all over again.”

Niki gave him a disgusted look. “You still don’t realize, do you? This is your fault. You’re an asshole. An asshole who’s running out of chances.”

They went back through the portal, and Schlatt passed out for the third time that night. He would really love to stop doing that.


	4. The Sorrowful Musician

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a little reminder to hydrate, and that you are an amazing and valid human being!  
> Second, thanks to my beta and good friend, frog-tsu on tumblr  
> Third, I should have a spin off one shot of this coming pretty soon and an angst fic a bit after that, so if you enjoyed this then stay tuned!  
> Hope you like the chapter!

When he woke up again, it was to the unpleasant scent of gunpowder and blood lingering in his nose. Schlatt slowly lifted himself up as his eyes refocused. “Hello, Wilbur. I know I haven’t killed you, unfortunately.” He grabbed his beer bottle and took a large swig. “So, what are you going to show me in a desperate attempt to guilt trip me?”

Wilbur smiled. It felt like when Dream smiled, underlined with an ulterior motive that usually wasn’t any good. “Oh, I won’t be doing that.”

Schlatt wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was filled with fear. This wasn’t the same Wilbur Schlatt had kicked out of Manburg. And right now, it didn’t feel like Wilbur was the one taking L’s. Wilbur held out his hand, and Schlatt reluctantly grabbed it.

This time, there was no blinding flash of light. Only darkness. A darkness that seemed to bind with him, become him. Then the darkness faded. They were outside of his house, but something was off. It was empty. There were no liquor bottles covering the floor, no couch in his living room. It was as though the house had died. He looked around and the whole area was different. And the flag, his beautiful flag, had been changed back to the reds, whites and blues of tyranny. If the flag was changed, that could mean only one thing. 

He looked at Wilbur, silently asking him to confirm what they both knew to be true. Wilbur began to walk, and Schlatt followed. Wilbur stopped at the targay, where an...auction was going on? That little pest Tommy was the auctioneer, enthusiastically slamming the hammer onto the table. “Schlatt’s eyeballs, starting at five emeralds! Do I hear five emeralds?” The crowd was silent.

Schlatt wasn’t sure if he was more offended that they were selling his limbs, or that they thought his limbs were worth less than five emeralds. He turned to Wilbur. “What is this? Some kind of weird vision to show what will happen if I leave office?”

Wilbur smiled. Schlatt was pretty sure it was a smile, but it was hard to tell with how creepy and twisted it looked. “No, Schlatt. This is the future if you stay in office.”

Schlatt laughed. “Are you kidding me? This is just some propaganda to try and get me to give up the presidency.” He stabbed Wilbur’s chest with his finger. “You just don’t want to admit you’re wrong.”

He expected Wilbur to be angry, or sad at the very least. But he wasn’t. He was laughing. His eyes filled with a crazed look and he began to shake his head. “Oh, Schlatt. Naive, naive Schlatt. Don’t you understand? Your presidency, L’manburg, everything.” He paused, voice dropping to a whisper. “It was never meant to be.”

He grabbed Schlatt’s arm and they sunk back into the darkness. 

Schlatt woke up. Rays of sunlight filtered in through the window. He walked over to look outside, where snow fell softly like flower petals. He could barely see the frosted tips of the trees from the forest behind L’manburg. Those trees were so nice to look at, it was a shame they were hidden behind the white house. “Hmm,” he said to himself. “I can fix that.”


End file.
